i.
I drew the line finally at the pee thing, the nurse
in her blues telling me, now honey
it'll just be a few minutes before I put a catheter in you can wait,
and then she disappeared
me, lying on my back on the gurney
waiting for them to take me to surgery
and I believed her at first, and then terrified
lying there trussed
waiting for the lot of them to come pick my brain, no idea
how it would turn out, I thought, this is crazy
wasting time now waiting to pee, lulled
into thinking I'd asked permission as if I were senseless.
ii.
Saying, I'm going to pee now, I got off the gurney
dragging the IV pole behind me
and the otherwise disinterested sentries
unsure of my sovereignty
waited for the nod before escorting me
as if I were a prisoner on the gate.
iii.
Intending to recapture the momentum
she came running, the nurse in her blues
mewling, now honey,
as if I were waiting for a bus in a storm
without an umbrella
just because my mother had said, now honey
it's too windy
to rain.
